"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:13-16
Large families can sometimes be an oddity that people stare at in public. "Wow! Look at all those kids!" Truth be told, I sometimes think that when I see other large families. Even in pictures, I'll think the same thing. Then I start counting and the family only has 6 children! It is funny because when you look at them as a whole group, there seem to be so many. Normally though, we do not think of our own family that way. We are just--us! I think it is because we see each others as individuals and a lot of times others are viewing us as a group. If you do not know each member as an individual the focus goes on the group. I guess that is how we are wired. Like I said, we do that too! My children have seen pictures of other large families and commented on how many there were and then laughed when we counted them! This happens too, when others will confuse some of the children or ask if they are twins. A lot of times we do not see the resemblance that others see in the children, because to us the differences stand out. Now, I do not mean that we do not acknowledge that they favor each other in their looks. I just do not see how any look so much alike to be confused as twins. We have noticed, when looking back on baby pictures, that several did look very much alike at certain ages. For instance, Reece looks a lot like Richard did when he was 5, and Reagan looks a lot like Rebecca did as a baby.
Yes, each one of our children are very much individuals! Part of the fun of raising so many is seeing how different God has made each one. There are many similarities, too, but the differences are what is so interesting! It has always struck me as funny when Richard came along, at how boyish he was. We really did not do that much different in raising him than we had his sisters. It was obvious that God had wired him differently. We never balked at him playing with dolls. We never shoved cars and trucks into his hands if he picked up his sisters dolls. But by the time he was 18 months old, he'd developed a love for balls and sports. Yes, he would push his sisters' doll strollers around the house just as happy as he could be. But were there dolls in it? Nope! He would take the dolls by their hair and sling them out of the stroller and replace them with his collection of balls! It was so funny! Many people clapped Rick on the back when we "finally" had a boy after two girls. Rick just kind of shrugged it off. Yes, we were happy to have a boy, because that is what God gave us. But was he a different daddy to a little boy? Not really. He wrestled on the floor with the girls just like he did the boys. He treated them the same. Now that time has gone on, I'd like to think the playing is a little different. The wrestling seems a bit rougher with the boys, though the girls still get their fair share of being pinned to the floor and tickled. These days they don't seem to enjoy it as much as the boys do though! And I do think he enjoys having boys that help with the mowing and want to watch sports with him. Still, in the beginning, it wasn't society or how we were raising them that shaped the differences between the boys and girls. It was obvious that God wired them a certain way. He does that for His purpose in their lives. And it is fun (and sometimes trying) to watch what God is going to do with that!
Rebecca, being the oldest, was the one we practiced on! Ha! Ha! She initiated us into parenthood. After going through her babyhood, there were definitely things we decided to do differently the next time. But mostly with the others, we were a bit more relaxed. She has a lot of characteristics of the older child. She seemed to mature early. She is very responsible and she is a people pleaser. She would like for everyone to be happy. She has a heart for people. She wants to be a nurse, and I have no doubt she will make an excellent one. She seems to get along with all age groups, from babies to the elderly.
Rachel is the second oldest. She is the organizer of the family. When I want something organized or cleaned, she is the one I go to. Not that she always wants to have those tasks fall to her, but what can I say? When you are good at it, people turn to you for that. She has an eye for details and can be quite creative. If you've ever seen her work with her photo editing, you know what I mean. When you want something done, she is the person to ask. She can be bold and speak up for what she feels is right, but at the same time has a very sensitive side.
Richard is the oldest boy. As I said before, it was fun to see how different he was from his sisters even as a toddler. Being the third child, I think he feels like he has to be the one to rock the boat some. He was never one that wanted to be bothered with sitting down and doing school. He does like to read occasionally, but instead of branching out to different kinds of books, he prefers to reread favorites over and over. Routine if very important to him and always has been. He has been the one that wanted to be outside playing. Why do school when you could be playing ball? All around he is a more physical person than his sisters. He has to be touching someone all the time! LOL He is the one that comes up behind you quite often and gives you a hug.
Ruth, for a long time, was the quiet one. She has come out of her shell some in the last year or two though. She has never liked things to be loud and rowdy. That kind of stuff tends to make her nervous. She is our sensitive one. Her feelings can easily be hurt. Sometimes she is a little too hard on herself. As a student, she is pretty self-motivated. At an early age, she could be trusted to take her school into another room and actually stick with it until she was done. She does things thoroughly, though often at a very slow pace. Seriously, I don't think you can hurry her! She is almost always the last one at the table at a meal! She is a people person, too. She does not want to hurt anyone's feelings (except for siblings maybe) and she loves to give great massages!
Robert is our clown. He likes to goof off quite a bit! He also can switch emotions faster than anyone I know, from one extreme to another. He can be really mad and upset, stomping off to his room muttering. Then the next thing you know, he is back downstairs just as happy as can be, hugging you and telling you how you are the best. It is so funny to watch him explain things to the really little ones. I should tape record his conversations with Reagan sometime! He was one that always cracked me up with his vocabulary. He would say the funniest things and we would be like "Where did you learn to use that word?" He is another one that likes to give hugs and encouragement. While he can be a very picky eater, when I do make something he likes, he will go on and on about what a great cook I am! (During those times he forgets about the meal before when I cooked pototoes, which he hates, and he thought I was making him eat the grossest thing in the world!)
Riley is our serious one. Many times you do not know what he is thinking. He is also a bit on the shy side. It takes him longer to warm up to people, but when he does you are his friend for life. When he is upset, he does not share what is wrong, which makes it hard as parents to fix things. He withdrawls inward more than any of the other children. When you praise him, I'm sure he likes the praise, but he isn't quite sure what to do with it. It makes him uncomfortable most of the time. I think instead he likes it when you show that you trust him to do things. He likes having responsibility. The girls often tell him he is going to be a great husband one day. He seems to "get" the girls and what they like. Currently he has become very attached to Rebecca. They are reading "The Chronicles of Narnia" together, and he can often be found brushing her hair after a long day!
Reece is--well, a cutie-pie! He can say some of the sweetest things. He seems to be a deep thinker. Often he is asking questions about life that make you wonder what ever made him ask that! And like most 5 year olds, he is full of questions! Right now he is at a point where his personality is changing a lot. Most recently, he has become a tattle-teller and overly dramatic. Of course part of that could be from getting over two illnesses back to back. He loves being around other people and hasn't really met a stranger! Once he meets you, pretty much be prepared to have him camp in your lap for the rest of the visit! And he'll talk your ear off. He enjoys being the "little buddy" in the family and he adores his older sisters!
Ridge is a handful! He seems to have a more dominant personality. He knows what he wants and he expects you to get if for him--now! If someone is in his way, be prepared to be shoved aside. He is a bit more physical than his siblings were at his age. And when he gets in trouble, he makes his eyes get really wide and he puts on this really big smile. (Not batting his eyes, but it has the same effect.) Something tells me he is going to barrel right through life at full speed--he'll think about the consequences to things later.
Reagan--well we are still learning a lot about her. One thing is for sure--she is a drama queen! She has been a more temperamental baby than the others were. She requires more of your undivided attention and isn't all that easily soothed when she gets riled! I'm sure there are lots of adventures waiting for her. Being a girl born after 4 brothers in a row, she is going to have to be tough! But like her siblings, she has the ability to smile and light up a room!
So nine children, all so different. Each one an individual made by God for a special purpose.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Saturday, March 5, 2011
"How Do You Do It?" Part 3--Homeschooling
For those of you out there that might think I look like I have it all together, let me assure you that I don't. In fact, I think it is pretty funny that it looks like I do! When I have conversations with other moms they seem to find some relief to hear that I struggle with the same things they do. Ha! I remember being one of them! I thought my kids were the only ones driving me crazy over bedtime, or getting their chores done. It was such a relief to hear that my friends struggled in the same ways! Why does the grass always look greener somewhere else? Still, I often need to hear from other moms that they struggle in the same ways I do. A quick phone call to a friend to vent a little usually earns a "Yep! Mine do that too!" It is an added plus when a mom with older children says "Oh, I remember those days! My son did the same, exact thing!" And for me to be able to see how her child turned out--very normal. What an encouragement! So that is what I hope this post will be for some of you--an encouragement. I am not some superhuman, perfect mom that has all of her ducks in a row. Some of you know this already! But you don't have to be that to homeschool. I often hear that I must have a lot of patience to homeschool my children. (Excuse me while I take a break and laugh til it hurts!) Sometimes I think God has me on this journey to develop patience in me....and I'm failing my grade! There was a time when Rick thought we shouldn't have more than one or two children because neither one of us is known for our patience. Unfortunately, we've passed some of these faults on to the next generation. It really is true that kids learn by what they see.
I think I've already touched on why we homeschool. We feel led by God to do so. Does that mean I never doubt this path? Or that I want to give up? No! It is a common occurence (at least twice a year) that I tell Rick I can't do it anymore! LOL He actually looks bored now when I say it. Realize that we've been doing this for 13 years now. He's heard it enough now and knows that I just need some support and calming words and (hopefully) things will look better tomorrow. It is a little easier now that we have our first getting ready to graduate. I can see that, yes, we raised a very smart, capable young lady who is going to be a wonderful person contributing to society. She does know how to read and write and is looking forward to furthering her education. So when her younger siblings seem to "shut down" during their lessons and block out whatever I say, refusing to learn something, I can remember back to when she did the same thing, and know that all will be okay.
So what does a typical school day look like now? Well, very different than it did several years ago. These days we get up a little later, after all, teenagers need more sleep! We try to eat breakfast no later than 8 a.m. and I like to have them start school by 8:30. Some days that just doesn't happen, but then Rule # 1 in homeschooling is to be flexible. Since we have a baby right now who needs to be fed quite frequently and first thing in the morning, I expect the children to start on things they can do on their own without me. In math that might be the backside of their assignment where it is a review, or in spelling it might be writing sentences with their words. Some of them start off with devotions, which they do on their own also. I sit at the dining table with the younger ones. Right now that would be the 7 year old and 9 year old. I am doing some kindergarten with the 5 year old, though if he was in public school he would have missed the cutoff and would not have been able to attend kindergarten yet. So his school is much more relaxed and we don't always do it everyday. It used to be that I would go over their lessons and then let them go to a desk to work on some of it on their own. Umm....yeah...that doesn't work for the boys. I literally can not walk out of the room and expect them to continue working. They can not sit in the same room and stay on task. I have come to realize that is an impossible task. I do have the 14 year old boy in the next room with his 12 year old sister, but I often have to send one out of that room. Yes, they love each other so much that they want to HELP each other all morning long. NOT! They argue constantly and can not be quiet and do their work without me constantly monitoring them. Yeah, not that different than when I was a public school teacher. The older girls now do most of their work on their own. They are the only ones allowed to do their school in their room. Right now they are doing a geometry class together (a review for Rebecca). They have a CD that explains the lesson. I go over some things before they take their test. At the beginning of the year I give them all of the lesson plans for the year, so they know how much and when to do things. If they feel like they need help, I will help them study for tests. This has worked well, for the most part, for the girls. The boys? Well, let's just say they may not ever get that privilege. I check their work and if they did not do well on a test or section, they have to redo it. If there is something I do not know (which, yes, this does happen in subjects like math and physics!) then I send them to someone who can help them....an uncle who is a math teacher, or a church youth advisor who is a chemistry teacher.
Our older two have taken some classes outside the home. Both have taken math classes taught by their uncle (Algebra II and Advanced Math). What a blessing that was! Rebecca took some classes last year at Virginia Western Community College for dual enrollment. She took two English classes and two Spanish classes. For Chemistry (never my strongsuit), they both took a DVD course from A Beka. So it was like watching a class. This was very expensive, but will probably be the route we go with this course. They could have taken a local class with other homeschoolers, but frankly it didn't fit in our schedule and I wasn't sure how I was going to get them there while still teaching the others. At least with the DVD class we could make it suit our schedule. It is funny how non-homeschool students would say something to Rebecca like "I bet you make straight A's since your mom teaches you. She can give you whatever grade she wants." LOL Right! Those who know me know that I'm a bit on the legalistic side in nature. You get what you earn! And if you earn a bad grade, then you didn't "get" it and you will be doing it until you do "get" it!
As far as curriculum goes, we have changed some over the years. Some of the changes were because the curriculum didn't work for everyone, and sometimes it was because the teacher got really bored with the same thing year after year! For the most part though, we use A Beka, Saxon, and Apologia. My older girls did Saxon math all the way through. Then I switched the younger ones to A Beka, and for Richard we started Teaching Textbooks (which is a CD program) for pre-algebra. Rick would love for me to be one of those homeschool moms who uses the library for a lot of subjects and makes her own curriculum. I laughed when he mentioned that! I don't have time! No, for me, I will be buying all the books with the answer keys (except for maybe 1st and 2nd grades because I do remember 2+2 and can still do it pretty quickly). So this can get rather expensive. We reuse as much as we can. That too, has changed some over the years though. I do buy a few things and let them write on them. They do write in Grammar books and on Grammar tests. But for subjects like History and Science, they have to do their test on another sheet of paper and I use the test booklet again for the next child. I do not copy it, because of the copyright law, but instead have them write the answers on another sheet of paper. Now that the younger ones are doing A Beka math, we just buy those workbooks every year.
Back to how our day looks. We start after breakfast. The younger ones are at the table with me, the 14 year old and the 12 year old in the next room, the 16 and 17 year olds upstairs, and the preschoolers in the room with me. The preschoolers will watch tv, turned on low, or play with their toys. Sometimes they come to the table to work with some manipulatives or color. Occasionally the 5 year old will play up in his room. The baby is usually in my lap or sleeping nearby. I may call an older teenager to come downstairs and supervise while I run up to take my shower. Most of their work is done by lunchtime. There are days where they drag their feet and goof off. So it isn't unheard of to have one still doing school at 5 o'clock. But for the most part, no homework. If they need extra practice with something, then we schedule an extra day. Studying spelling words does take place in the evening some though. This is subject to change. At the end of the year, I usually try to finish all books. I feel like we've paid money for them and the work is there for a reason, so we need to finish it. Oh, and there are no snow days! LOL They can play out in the snow, but their schoolwork is waiting for them when they come in!
If you were to come to our house during the school hours, I will warn you that you will hear things like this--"Stop aggravating him!" "Why are you up AGAIN??" "Sit DOWN!" "Did you REALLY finish your math? Well, let me see it? Ahhhh, yes, see this one and this one and this one aren't done." "You can't possibly need to go to the bathroom again!" "Hello? HELLO? Stop staring off into space and listen to me!" You might also hear "Hey, today I learned who the youngest president was." "Mom, do you remember when the first man walked on the moon?" "No, I'm not that old!" And you would hear one of my favorite sounds....a little one learning to read on their own! Wouldn't trade that for the world!
We do homeschool under the law. We do not claim religious exemption (though we thought about going that route). So because we homeschool under the law, we have to do the standardized testing like the schools do. We do not have to do SOL's though. Because I have a 4 year degree, I can administer the Iowa tests to my own children. Because that is the best thing for our schedule and the least disruptive to the kids, we do it at home. This year, however, I'm looking at doing a different test. The Iowa is over $40 a test, so x 5= over $200 just to test them (Rebecca is a senior and will not need to take it this year). If I did not HAVE to test them, I probably would only do it every other year. After they are tested, we send the scores to the local school board.
So, I think I answered several of the questions we get about homeschooling and how we do it. Recently one of the kids pointed out that I "get" to homeschool for 18 more years! Yay! I think I'll be more than ready for my retirement by then!
I think I've already touched on why we homeschool. We feel led by God to do so. Does that mean I never doubt this path? Or that I want to give up? No! It is a common occurence (at least twice a year) that I tell Rick I can't do it anymore! LOL He actually looks bored now when I say it. Realize that we've been doing this for 13 years now. He's heard it enough now and knows that I just need some support and calming words and (hopefully) things will look better tomorrow. It is a little easier now that we have our first getting ready to graduate. I can see that, yes, we raised a very smart, capable young lady who is going to be a wonderful person contributing to society. She does know how to read and write and is looking forward to furthering her education. So when her younger siblings seem to "shut down" during their lessons and block out whatever I say, refusing to learn something, I can remember back to when she did the same thing, and know that all will be okay.
So what does a typical school day look like now? Well, very different than it did several years ago. These days we get up a little later, after all, teenagers need more sleep! We try to eat breakfast no later than 8 a.m. and I like to have them start school by 8:30. Some days that just doesn't happen, but then Rule # 1 in homeschooling is to be flexible. Since we have a baby right now who needs to be fed quite frequently and first thing in the morning, I expect the children to start on things they can do on their own without me. In math that might be the backside of their assignment where it is a review, or in spelling it might be writing sentences with their words. Some of them start off with devotions, which they do on their own also. I sit at the dining table with the younger ones. Right now that would be the 7 year old and 9 year old. I am doing some kindergarten with the 5 year old, though if he was in public school he would have missed the cutoff and would not have been able to attend kindergarten yet. So his school is much more relaxed and we don't always do it everyday. It used to be that I would go over their lessons and then let them go to a desk to work on some of it on their own. Umm....yeah...that doesn't work for the boys. I literally can not walk out of the room and expect them to continue working. They can not sit in the same room and stay on task. I have come to realize that is an impossible task. I do have the 14 year old boy in the next room with his 12 year old sister, but I often have to send one out of that room. Yes, they love each other so much that they want to HELP each other all morning long. NOT! They argue constantly and can not be quiet and do their work without me constantly monitoring them. Yeah, not that different than when I was a public school teacher. The older girls now do most of their work on their own. They are the only ones allowed to do their school in their room. Right now they are doing a geometry class together (a review for Rebecca). They have a CD that explains the lesson. I go over some things before they take their test. At the beginning of the year I give them all of the lesson plans for the year, so they know how much and when to do things. If they feel like they need help, I will help them study for tests. This has worked well, for the most part, for the girls. The boys? Well, let's just say they may not ever get that privilege. I check their work and if they did not do well on a test or section, they have to redo it. If there is something I do not know (which, yes, this does happen in subjects like math and physics!) then I send them to someone who can help them....an uncle who is a math teacher, or a church youth advisor who is a chemistry teacher.
Our older two have taken some classes outside the home. Both have taken math classes taught by their uncle (Algebra II and Advanced Math). What a blessing that was! Rebecca took some classes last year at Virginia Western Community College for dual enrollment. She took two English classes and two Spanish classes. For Chemistry (never my strongsuit), they both took a DVD course from A Beka. So it was like watching a class. This was very expensive, but will probably be the route we go with this course. They could have taken a local class with other homeschoolers, but frankly it didn't fit in our schedule and I wasn't sure how I was going to get them there while still teaching the others. At least with the DVD class we could make it suit our schedule. It is funny how non-homeschool students would say something to Rebecca like "I bet you make straight A's since your mom teaches you. She can give you whatever grade she wants." LOL Right! Those who know me know that I'm a bit on the legalistic side in nature. You get what you earn! And if you earn a bad grade, then you didn't "get" it and you will be doing it until you do "get" it!
As far as curriculum goes, we have changed some over the years. Some of the changes were because the curriculum didn't work for everyone, and sometimes it was because the teacher got really bored with the same thing year after year! For the most part though, we use A Beka, Saxon, and Apologia. My older girls did Saxon math all the way through. Then I switched the younger ones to A Beka, and for Richard we started Teaching Textbooks (which is a CD program) for pre-algebra. Rick would love for me to be one of those homeschool moms who uses the library for a lot of subjects and makes her own curriculum. I laughed when he mentioned that! I don't have time! No, for me, I will be buying all the books with the answer keys (except for maybe 1st and 2nd grades because I do remember 2+2 and can still do it pretty quickly). So this can get rather expensive. We reuse as much as we can. That too, has changed some over the years though. I do buy a few things and let them write on them. They do write in Grammar books and on Grammar tests. But for subjects like History and Science, they have to do their test on another sheet of paper and I use the test booklet again for the next child. I do not copy it, because of the copyright law, but instead have them write the answers on another sheet of paper. Now that the younger ones are doing A Beka math, we just buy those workbooks every year.
Back to how our day looks. We start after breakfast. The younger ones are at the table with me, the 14 year old and the 12 year old in the next room, the 16 and 17 year olds upstairs, and the preschoolers in the room with me. The preschoolers will watch tv, turned on low, or play with their toys. Sometimes they come to the table to work with some manipulatives or color. Occasionally the 5 year old will play up in his room. The baby is usually in my lap or sleeping nearby. I may call an older teenager to come downstairs and supervise while I run up to take my shower. Most of their work is done by lunchtime. There are days where they drag their feet and goof off. So it isn't unheard of to have one still doing school at 5 o'clock. But for the most part, no homework. If they need extra practice with something, then we schedule an extra day. Studying spelling words does take place in the evening some though. This is subject to change. At the end of the year, I usually try to finish all books. I feel like we've paid money for them and the work is there for a reason, so we need to finish it. Oh, and there are no snow days! LOL They can play out in the snow, but their schoolwork is waiting for them when they come in!
If you were to come to our house during the school hours, I will warn you that you will hear things like this--"Stop aggravating him!" "Why are you up AGAIN??" "Sit DOWN!" "Did you REALLY finish your math? Well, let me see it? Ahhhh, yes, see this one and this one and this one aren't done." "You can't possibly need to go to the bathroom again!" "Hello? HELLO? Stop staring off into space and listen to me!" You might also hear "Hey, today I learned who the youngest president was." "Mom, do you remember when the first man walked on the moon?" "No, I'm not that old!" And you would hear one of my favorite sounds....a little one learning to read on their own! Wouldn't trade that for the world!
We do homeschool under the law. We do not claim religious exemption (though we thought about going that route). So because we homeschool under the law, we have to do the standardized testing like the schools do. We do not have to do SOL's though. Because I have a 4 year degree, I can administer the Iowa tests to my own children. Because that is the best thing for our schedule and the least disruptive to the kids, we do it at home. This year, however, I'm looking at doing a different test. The Iowa is over $40 a test, so x 5= over $200 just to test them (Rebecca is a senior and will not need to take it this year). If I did not HAVE to test them, I probably would only do it every other year. After they are tested, we send the scores to the local school board.
So, I think I answered several of the questions we get about homeschooling and how we do it. Recently one of the kids pointed out that I "get" to homeschool for 18 more years! Yay! I think I'll be more than ready for my retirement by then!
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