This probably won't be nearly the amount of information some people might like, but my husband would not approve of me getting too specific about our money here on this type of forum. So this will be general type stuff.
I've had people ask me how we afford all the children we have. Well, once again I have to say "God provides!" If He gives us children, then He will provide for them. Now, that does not mean we get to sit on our behinds and not do any work. It just means that if we are trusting Him, he is going to take care of us. Will it be in the style that we'd like? Maybe not. Does it mean that our "pride" might never suffer? Maybe not. But He WILL take care of us. I know some people decide not to have more children because they want to raise the ones they have with certain "things". That's their decision. We have just chosen to look at it a different way. Yes, it is nice to have things...like fancy clothes that haven't been owned by anyone else, all the new technology toys, a new house in a really nice neighborhood, a nice car, a vacation every year, etc. I really could go on and on. But instead of thinking of it that way, we think of the wonderful people that can come into our lives. I'd much rather have a child enter our family than any of the aforementioned things. A child that will bless our lives and the lives of countless other people. A child that may one day invent a cure for cancer or be the parent of the person who does. There is so much promise in a child...in a person. But those things....they are just THINGS. They may be fun for a time but they won't last. But oh, what a difference a person can make!
So how do we do it? Well the first thing was we trust God. But usually when people ask they want a different kind of answer. So I'll attempt to give the kind of answer they are talking about. I have a husband who works very hard. But even so, we have not been very smart with the money we have earned over the years. As if we didn't already know that, Dave Ramsey made sure we knew it in the first class of Financial Peace ( a study we did at our church). He tells you how you could be a millionaire if you'd started saving money when you were fresh out of school. Did we do that? No! We made a series of bad financial decisions. But we are trying to do better now. We are trying to be better stewards with what God has blessed us with.
We do not buy a new car/van every few years. We pretty much buy one and run it until it won't run anymore! We do not take vacations every year. In fact, when Rick can get away from work, a vacation usually involves visiting family members that live out of state. We are lucky when we can get in a trip to the beach every couple of years. No, we won't be going on a cruise or going overseas. But you won't hear any complaints here. Right now my dream vacation would be going to somewhere like Disney World with all the kids. Still that is not practical for us, so I'll settle for Busch Gardens. I don't want to get away from the kids and go off somewhere exotic....I want to make memories WITH the children.
I know a few people think our children are a bit deprived because they haven't had certain experiences. Which I think is pretty laughable! Our children are sooo blessed! They have a lot of siblings who love them (and parents that have managed to stay married to each other for 20+ years), but they also have many conveniences that are pure luxury. Yes, they have ipods, cell phones, and computers. I feel kind of guilty even saying that. We probably should have less of those things and have money put away for retirement and college...but then that goes back to financial mistakes. Now this is the part that will have some gasping aloud...our children will NOT be getting a car for their 16th birthday. Their parents have not saved a nice little nestegg for their college education, and we will not be going into debt to pay for their college. They will have to work towards some of that for themselves. We will help when we can, but it will not be handed to them. We don't feel that is a "right" that we owe them. Would we like to provide those things? Sure! Would we if we had the money? Probably, though I'd like to say they'd need to still work for part of them. But I know me, and I'd love to hand over keys to my kids to a brand, spanking new vehicle. That is not going to happen though. So those are some things we don't do.
Things we do--We do shop at yardsales. We do accept hand-me-downs from other families. In fact, my girls love getting boxes of clothes from certain people! You trendy people know who you are! Please know what a blessing you have been to our family. We do look for deals where we can. For us it is a deal to pay $275 for a pool membership every summer. That is our entertainment for the whole summer for a family of 11. We don't often go to the movies, play putt-putt, or any of those things that could easily cost us $100 an outing. We look for family rates. Several years we bought a family membership to the zoo and the Science museum because that was cheaper than all of us going once! We would get to go for a whole year cheaper than those tickets for one day! We also buy things gender neutral when we can, so that it can be passed down to siblings. We mark things with initials instead of names for the same reason. (All our kids have the same initials). When ordering out at fast food places, we usually just get it to go so we can avoid buying drinks (saves a bunch of money!). We do not eat out at fancy restaurants as a whole family. Instead we may take children out for special occasions individually. Rick and I do get to eat out ever so often because we get giftcards for birthdays and Christmas. This is one of our favorite gifts because it is a good excuse for a date night!
We do not buy a lot of big things. Seriously, I think almost all of the big things like furniture have been given to us. Just a few years ago we bought a couch and that was a big deal because it was the only piece of furniture we'd picked out together and actually bought. I was very excited! Now we'd bought things used before that and had many things handed down from family members and friends. That same year we bought a new washer and dryer--my favorite appliances in the whole house now! Because we rarely get to make these kinds of purchases, we don't take them lightly! Rick and I shopped for over 6 months for the washer and dryer. Every date night, we'd go to the store and look at them. We decided which ones we wanted and we kept checking back, waiting for a good deal! And when it came time for Rick to buy a truck, no kidding he took at least 6 months looking. The car salesmen got so tired of seeing him and stopped believing that he was ever going to buy something. I guess not having frivilous money and also making some bad decisions in the past make us very cautious in making big purchases.
As for smaller types of things....weekly expenses like groceries can really mount up for our family. I have gotten lax about this lately too. I haven't been using coupons, which I should, and I've reverted back to some old bad habits. Typically I buy store brand products, but there are a few things that I really like the name brands and will buy them when I can. A few of those things....I do not like to skimp on toilet paper! Haha! I like my non-store brand orange juice and chips. I try not to buy the little individually priced snacks. They kids would love for me to...after all they are so cute! But they are such a waste! You are paying for packaging! Ugh! So we rarely do that, though I do cave in and buy them every now and then during the summer. We might take them to the pool as a special treat or to a ballgame. We try to stay away from concession stands except maybe once or twice during the summer, and usually then they spend their own money at them. When it is our turn to do snacks for the sports teams, I almost always bake cookies instead of buying them.
None of these things are biggies though. We are probably a lot like some of the smaller families out there. We just have to stretch things a bit farther. I belong to a MOMYS group online (Mother Of Many Young Siblings) and the ladies on there are an inspiration! Many larger families than ours survive on a lot less money. They amaze me with how much less their grocery bill is than ours! And for those of you who are curious (and I know you are because I'm curious what other people pay), our current grocery bill is around $200 a week. I KNOW I could do better. Should do better. It is also about to go up I believe. I now have a teenage son who is starting to be the typical teenage boy. He is hungry all the time! Guess we need to look into finding a piece of land where we can garden!
Feel free to ask me questions. I know I've missed several things I'll wish I had covered after I hit the publish button. But I really need to get to bed. The kids are all asleep and I think the hot water heater has had time to replenish for my shower. So I'm gonna sneak off to enjoy a long, hopefully uninterrupted shower at 1:00 a.m. in the morning! Good night!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
"How Do You Do It?" part 1
As the mother of many, I can't tell you how many times I've gotten that question! Often I don't know how to respond...and does anyone really expect me to? The real answer is, of course, by the grace of God! But I think people are really curious about big families and how things get done. When it is a genuine question, I don't mind answering at all. I would be curious, too! And I was! Yes, I once even asked a woman with many children (in the mall in Greenville, SC) if they were all hers. LOL Then, I even said something like "Wow! You have your hands full!" I NEVER meant it in a negative way, but with respect. Little did I know then, that she probably heard that every time she went out with her children and it didn't always sound positive. Now, I know.
Anyway....I thought I might use my blog to address some of the questions people have about how large families do things. I don't claim to be an expert....just someone who is living it. I will say upfront right now that many will have problems with the way I do things. That's okay, I probably have problems with the way they do things too. One of the keys to running a large household is to delegate. My older children have to help around the house. I rely on my two older girls a lot. They really do lighten my load on a daily basis. I do not want to overwhelm them with chores, but at the same time they are in training to be moms and wives one day. My sons are in training to be dads and husbands. Hopefuly when they become those one day, they will be prepared and know the responsibilities that go along with the positions. I am definitely not raising pampered, spoiled individuals who expect the world to cater to their needs. At least I hope not! I want my children to be responsible, God-fearing, God-loving, kind people with a good work ethic. Some days I fail in that instruction, and other days they blow me away with the people they are becoming, despite my mistakes and failings as a parent and an example.
The first thing I was going to talk about was cloth diapering. Mainly because I'm having a cloth diaper party soon and that is on my mind! Many people have expressed amazement at me having time to cloth diaper, so I thought I would devote a few minutes to tell you how easy it is! I first became interested in cloth diapering when I was pregnant with Riley, 8 years ago. I bought some Kissaluvs diapers and some FuzziBunz. When Riley was born I jumped right in. I was only planning to use the cloth diapers part time, mostly while we were at home during the day. Things went well for a while, but then I started noticing a strong smell when Riley would wet the diaper. Ammonia! I also didn't have a great washing machine at the time, nor had I researched a lot about diapers. I gave up pretty quickly. Then when Reece was born I again used them off and on for a couple of months. Same issues. When I had Ridge, I had a postpartum hemorrhage and felt awful for quite a while. I didn't want to add extra laundry plus I had some friends give us almost 3 months worth of diapers they could not use because their daughter was allergic to them. This time around, I did a lot of research online. I learned that the reason for the smells I was having was partly due to hard water and partly due to the wrong detergent. So this time I changed how I washed diapers and haven't had the same problems. Of course, it helps that we have a new washing machine that was actually made during this century!
I invested in a few different kinds of diapers. I kept the Fuzzi Bunz that I'd used before and added to that. I bought some Bum Genius 3.0 AIO's and have loved them! It is just like changing a disposable diaper! They come in really pretty colors too, as do the Fuzzi Bunz. I've also added a couple of Happy Heinys (not my favorite though because they tend to leak occasionally), BlueBerrys, and Ragababes. There are so many choices today and I have to admit that I'm addicted. My kids will tell you that I'm often online looking up different kinds of diapers and looking for sales. I've purchased some that are very expensive diapers but I've gotten them on clearance or as seconds. Still excellent quality! I'll list my recommendations at the end!
My wash routine is very different from what I did before. I now have an LG frontloading washing machine. I wash diapers on a Sanitary cycle with a prewash, extra rinse, and water plus (where it adds extra water). It takes a long time for them to wash, but that is just how it is with these new water efficient machines. I've been amazed at how clean the diapers come out. I only have one or two that have stains and they are very, very, light ones. Since I am exlusively breastfeeding, so far there is no dunking diapers in the toilet. I just throw them in the washing machine. For later I do have a diaper sprayer that is attached to the back of the toilet. It is like a shower head. When Reagan is on solids, I will just spray off her diapers in the toilet and then wash. Much easier than in the old days! I was spraying them off at the beginning but realized that I didn't need to. I was washing diapers every other day. Lately, I've been trying to stretch it out one extra day when I can. But I really don't mind doing the extra couple of loads of laundry. I feel like this is so much better for Reagan than the chemical-filled disposables. And I will admit, they are A LOT cuter! I enjoy cloth diapering. Oh, I use Lulu's detergent for hard water. I have some Rockin Green that I'm going to try next.
So, it really isn't that much more work. My washer does most of it. I do look forward to warmer weather when I can hang the diapers outside to dry. That might add a little more work, but, hey, I need the sun and fresh air! The rest of the family endulges my new love for cloth! I do almost all of the diaper changes at this point. Rebecca, Rachel, and Rick have all changed a few diapers though, and I haven't heard any complaints. I will soon be away from Reagan as I have two doula births coming up in the spring. We'll see how they do when I'm not at home.
My recommendations for cloth diapers: For newborns I REALLY liked the Bum Genius AIO xsmall. They have discontinued the bigger sizes but will still be making the xsmalls. They say they fit up to 12 lbs., but my daughter could only wear them until she was almost 11 lbs. Still I liked how well they fit and were perfect when she was born at 8 lbs. 1 oz. She wore them for almost 3 months. I also like Fuzzi Bunz xsmall for newborns. Next, I am currently using size small in Fuzzi Bunz and Bum Genius. Reagan is just now getting into the one-size diapers where you can adjust them down for a small baby or make them bigger for an older baby. I still prefer the different sizes but I think as she grows I'll like the One Sizes better. I've recently bought some Ragababes and I really like these too. They are gorgeous and very absorbant! Only problem is that they are expensive. I used Christmas money for Reagan to buy hers, but no way could I afford a whole stash of them. Still, I love the ones she has. I am holding onto my diapers for a while....you never know if God will bless you with another little one. But, when I KNOW I'm done, I can sell my diapers. Yes, people will buy used diapers! So I will be able to regain some of the money spent.
Blessings!
Cindy
This may be a long series. I plan to cover homeschooling, chores, finances, and health. What are your questions for a mom of many???
Anyway....I thought I might use my blog to address some of the questions people have about how large families do things. I don't claim to be an expert....just someone who is living it. I will say upfront right now that many will have problems with the way I do things. That's okay, I probably have problems with the way they do things too. One of the keys to running a large household is to delegate. My older children have to help around the house. I rely on my two older girls a lot. They really do lighten my load on a daily basis. I do not want to overwhelm them with chores, but at the same time they are in training to be moms and wives one day. My sons are in training to be dads and husbands. Hopefuly when they become those one day, they will be prepared and know the responsibilities that go along with the positions. I am definitely not raising pampered, spoiled individuals who expect the world to cater to their needs. At least I hope not! I want my children to be responsible, God-fearing, God-loving, kind people with a good work ethic. Some days I fail in that instruction, and other days they blow me away with the people they are becoming, despite my mistakes and failings as a parent and an example.
The first thing I was going to talk about was cloth diapering. Mainly because I'm having a cloth diaper party soon and that is on my mind! Many people have expressed amazement at me having time to cloth diaper, so I thought I would devote a few minutes to tell you how easy it is! I first became interested in cloth diapering when I was pregnant with Riley, 8 years ago. I bought some Kissaluvs diapers and some FuzziBunz. When Riley was born I jumped right in. I was only planning to use the cloth diapers part time, mostly while we were at home during the day. Things went well for a while, but then I started noticing a strong smell when Riley would wet the diaper. Ammonia! I also didn't have a great washing machine at the time, nor had I researched a lot about diapers. I gave up pretty quickly. Then when Reece was born I again used them off and on for a couple of months. Same issues. When I had Ridge, I had a postpartum hemorrhage and felt awful for quite a while. I didn't want to add extra laundry plus I had some friends give us almost 3 months worth of diapers they could not use because their daughter was allergic to them. This time around, I did a lot of research online. I learned that the reason for the smells I was having was partly due to hard water and partly due to the wrong detergent. So this time I changed how I washed diapers and haven't had the same problems. Of course, it helps that we have a new washing machine that was actually made during this century!
I invested in a few different kinds of diapers. I kept the Fuzzi Bunz that I'd used before and added to that. I bought some Bum Genius 3.0 AIO's and have loved them! It is just like changing a disposable diaper! They come in really pretty colors too, as do the Fuzzi Bunz. I've also added a couple of Happy Heinys (not my favorite though because they tend to leak occasionally), BlueBerrys, and Ragababes. There are so many choices today and I have to admit that I'm addicted. My kids will tell you that I'm often online looking up different kinds of diapers and looking for sales. I've purchased some that are very expensive diapers but I've gotten them on clearance or as seconds. Still excellent quality! I'll list my recommendations at the end!
My wash routine is very different from what I did before. I now have an LG frontloading washing machine. I wash diapers on a Sanitary cycle with a prewash, extra rinse, and water plus (where it adds extra water). It takes a long time for them to wash, but that is just how it is with these new water efficient machines. I've been amazed at how clean the diapers come out. I only have one or two that have stains and they are very, very, light ones. Since I am exlusively breastfeeding, so far there is no dunking diapers in the toilet. I just throw them in the washing machine. For later I do have a diaper sprayer that is attached to the back of the toilet. It is like a shower head. When Reagan is on solids, I will just spray off her diapers in the toilet and then wash. Much easier than in the old days! I was spraying them off at the beginning but realized that I didn't need to. I was washing diapers every other day. Lately, I've been trying to stretch it out one extra day when I can. But I really don't mind doing the extra couple of loads of laundry. I feel like this is so much better for Reagan than the chemical-filled disposables. And I will admit, they are A LOT cuter! I enjoy cloth diapering. Oh, I use Lulu's detergent for hard water. I have some Rockin Green that I'm going to try next.
So, it really isn't that much more work. My washer does most of it. I do look forward to warmer weather when I can hang the diapers outside to dry. That might add a little more work, but, hey, I need the sun and fresh air! The rest of the family endulges my new love for cloth! I do almost all of the diaper changes at this point. Rebecca, Rachel, and Rick have all changed a few diapers though, and I haven't heard any complaints. I will soon be away from Reagan as I have two doula births coming up in the spring. We'll see how they do when I'm not at home.
My recommendations for cloth diapers: For newborns I REALLY liked the Bum Genius AIO xsmall. They have discontinued the bigger sizes but will still be making the xsmalls. They say they fit up to 12 lbs., but my daughter could only wear them until she was almost 11 lbs. Still I liked how well they fit and were perfect when she was born at 8 lbs. 1 oz. She wore them for almost 3 months. I also like Fuzzi Bunz xsmall for newborns. Next, I am currently using size small in Fuzzi Bunz and Bum Genius. Reagan is just now getting into the one-size diapers where you can adjust them down for a small baby or make them bigger for an older baby. I still prefer the different sizes but I think as she grows I'll like the One Sizes better. I've recently bought some Ragababes and I really like these too. They are gorgeous and very absorbant! Only problem is that they are expensive. I used Christmas money for Reagan to buy hers, but no way could I afford a whole stash of them. Still, I love the ones she has. I am holding onto my diapers for a while....you never know if God will bless you with another little one. But, when I KNOW I'm done, I can sell my diapers. Yes, people will buy used diapers! So I will be able to regain some of the money spent.
Blessings!
Cindy
This may be a long series. I plan to cover homeschooling, chores, finances, and health. What are your questions for a mom of many???
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)