You Know You Have a Large Family When....

 You hear "You've got your hands full" at least three times every time you're out in public with your children.

 You start reading a story to one child and end up reading stories to three or four.

 You don't fit into a normal minivan.

 You read the fine print on the "Kids Eat Free" offers.

 You make four dozen cookies and they're all gone the next day.

You count heads when shopping to make sure they're all still with you.
You get asked constantly "are they all yours?"

When you get into your 15 seater van and you have to say "count off!" to make sure you didn't leave anyone behind! (and, yes, we have left someone once)

you arrive at the local swimming pool and as you all walk past people stop to stare

you just cannot buy everyone a drink and a donut without spending less than $30

you think people with three children have a small family

at the end of each day you think “whoa that was intense”… but it was just like yesterday and tomorrow will be the same

I look at my daughter and get sad cause she’ll be gone all too soon. I look SO forward to my grandchildren.  It’s a lot of work but I would not trade it for all the tea in China--EVER (borrowed this one--but I can definitely relate)

A family trip to the store leaves a trail of people behind you counting the number of kids on their fingers

Mom gets asked any of the following questions by complete strangers:

• "Y'know what causes that, right?" (Usually accompanied by a leer.) 
• "Are you done yet?"
• "You're Catholic, aren't you?"
• "Hey, that's almost a baseball/soccer/marching band! Is that what you're going for?" 
• "You are getting your tubes tied now, aren't you?"
• "What does YOUR husband do for a living?" (insinuating he makes a lot of money)
• "How do you DO it?"

Your washing machine & dryer rarely see a day without being used.

You have to take out a small loan to have the family eat out together at a decent restaurant. (Never happens here!)

Things like yogurt, bananas, ice cream, and cookies disappear faster than you can blink an eye at your house.

You actually know how long baby equipment lasts--and rarely is it through more than 3 children! (Though our stroller has lasted 18 years and gone through 9 children!  The high chair was in 3rd place as it limped through 8 children. The winner was the borrowed crib that went through 2 nephews and our 9 children.)

"Family-size" boxes at the grocery store make you laugh!  As well as the family-size meals at fastfood restaurants.

You beg your husband to take the family vehicle to be filled with gas because seeing the bill makes you want to throw up!

You're on a first name basis with your OB-GYN and his staff.  They know you well!

You've been a parent long enough to see all the experts change their minds numerous times on the right way to parent--put baby to sleep on its stomach, no--its side, no--its back!)

Your daughters sigh and roll their eyes when people ask THEM if you are going to have more children (because they get that question ALL the time).

You have no time to be lonely. 

You get more hugs than anyone you know.

When you hear a thump from upstairs, you now wait for a scream to follow.  If not, all's well.



This could go on and on.....  Thanks for following this long.  I've always loved reading these!  The first half or so was actually copied and pasted from other moms of large families.  So they are not unique to our family by any means! 

Being a part of a big family does mean a lot of sacrifices on everyone's part, but the rewards outweigh them by far!

~Cindy~

Such Individuals

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.  When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.  All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:13-16

Large families can sometimes be an oddity that people stare at in public.  "Wow!  Look at all those kids!"  Truth be told, I sometimes think that when I see other large families.  Even in pictures, I'll think the same thing.  Then I start counting and the family only has 6 children!  It is funny because when you look at them as a whole group, there seem to be so many.  Normally though, we do not think of our own family that way. We are just--us!  I think it is because we see each others as individuals and a lot of times others are viewing us as a group.  If you do not know each member as an individual the focus goes on the group.  I guess that is how we are wired.  Like I said, we do that too!  My children have seen pictures of other large families and commented on how many there were and then laughed when we counted them!  This happens too, when others will confuse some of the children or ask if they are twins.  A lot of times we do not see the resemblance that others see in the children, because to us the differences stand out.  Now, I do not mean that we do not acknowledge that they favor each other in their looks.  I just do not see how any look so  much alike to be confused as twins.  We have noticed, when looking back on baby pictures, that several did look very much alike at certain ages.  For instance, Reece looks a lot like Richard did when he was 5, and Reagan looks a lot like Rebecca did as a baby.

Yes, each one of our children are very much individuals!  Part of the fun of raising so many is seeing how different God has made each one.  There are many similarities, too, but the differences are what is so interesting!  It has always struck me as funny when Richard came along, at how boyish he was.  We really did not do that much different in raising him than we had his sisters.  It was obvious that God had wired him differently.  We never balked at him playing with dolls.  We never shoved cars and trucks into his hands if he picked up his sisters dolls.  But by the time he was 18 months old, he'd developed a love for balls and sports.  Yes, he would push his sisters' doll strollers around the house just as happy as he could be.  But were there dolls in it?  Nope!  He would take the dolls by their hair and sling them out of the stroller and replace them with his collection of balls!  It was so funny!  Many people clapped Rick on the back when we "finally" had a boy after two girls.  Rick just kind of shrugged it off.  Yes, we were happy to have a boy, because that is what God gave us.  But was he a different daddy to a little boy?  Not really.  He wrestled on the floor with the girls just like he did the boys.  He treated them the same.  Now that time has gone on, I'd like to think the playing is a little different.  The wrestling seems a bit rougher with the boys, though the girls still get their fair share of being pinned to the floor and tickled.  These days they don't seem to enjoy it as much as the boys do though!  And I do think he enjoys having boys that help with the mowing and want to watch sports with him.  Still, in the beginning, it wasn't society or how we were raising them that shaped the differences between the boys and girls.  It was obvious that God wired them a certain way.  He does that for His purpose in their lives.  And it is fun (and sometimes trying) to watch what God is going to do with that!

Rebecca, being the oldest, was the one we practiced on!  Ha!  Ha!  She initiated us into parenthood.  After going through her babyhood, there were definitely things we decided to do differently the next time.  But mostly with the others, we were a bit more relaxed.  She has a lot of characteristics of the older child.  She seemed to mature early.  She is very responsible and she is a people pleaser.  She would like for everyone to be happy.  She has a heart for people.  She wants to be a nurse, and I have no doubt she will make an excellent one.  She seems to get along with all age groups, from babies to the elderly.

Rachel is the second oldest.  She is the organizer of the family.  When I want something organized or cleaned, she is the one I go to.  Not that she always wants to have those tasks fall to her, but what can I say?  When you are good at it, people turn to you for that.  She has an eye for details and can be quite creative.  If you've ever seen her work with her photo editing, you know what I mean.  When you want something done, she is the person to ask.  She can be bold and speak up for what she feels is right, but at the same time has a very sensitive side.

Richard is the oldest boy.  As I said before, it was fun to see how different he was from his sisters even as a toddler.  Being the third child, I think he feels like he has to be the one to rock the boat some.  He was never one that wanted to be bothered with sitting down and doing school.  He does like to read occasionally, but instead of branching out to different kinds of books, he prefers to reread favorites over and over.  Routine if very important to him and always has been. He has been the one that wanted to be outside playing.  Why do school when you could be playing ball?  All around he is a more physical person than his sisters.  He has to be touching someone all the time!  LOL  He is the one that comes up behind you quite often and gives you a hug.

Ruth, for a long time, was the quiet one.  She has come out of her shell some in the last year or two though.  She has never liked things to be loud and rowdy.  That kind of stuff tends to make her nervous.  She is our sensitive one.  Her feelings can easily be hurt.  Sometimes she is a little too hard on herself.  As a student, she is pretty self-motivated.  At an early age, she could be trusted to take her school into another room and actually stick with it until she was done.  She does things thoroughly, though often at a very slow pace.  Seriously, I don't think you can hurry her!  She is almost always the last one at the table at a meal!  She is a people person, too.  She does not want to hurt anyone's feelings (except for siblings maybe) and she loves to give great massages!

Robert is our clown.  He likes to goof off quite a bit!  He also can switch emotions faster than anyone I know, from one extreme to another.  He can be really mad and upset, stomping off to his room muttering.  Then the next thing you know, he is back downstairs just as happy as can be, hugging you and telling you how you are the best.  It is so funny to watch him explain things to the really little ones.  I should tape record his conversations with Reagan sometime!  He was one that always cracked me up with his vocabulary.  He would say the funniest things and we would be like "Where did you learn to use that word?"  He is another one that likes to give hugs and encouragement.  While he can be a very picky eater, when I do make something he likes, he will go on and on about what a great cook I am!  (During those times he forgets about the meal before when I cooked pototoes, which he hates, and he thought I was making him eat the grossest thing in the world!)

Riley is our serious one.  Many times you do not know what he is thinking.  He is also a bit on the shy side.  It takes him longer to warm up to people, but when he does you are his friend for life.  When he is upset, he does not share what is wrong, which makes it hard as parents to fix things.  He withdrawls inward more than any of the other children.  When you praise him, I'm sure he likes the praise, but he isn't quite sure what to do with it.  It makes him uncomfortable most of the time.  I think instead he likes it when you show that you trust him to do things.  He likes having responsibility.  The girls often tell him he is going to be a great husband one day.  He seems to "get" the girls and what they like.  Currently he has become very attached to Rebecca.  They are reading "The Chronicles of Narnia" together, and he can often be found brushing her hair after a long day!

Reece is--well, a cutie-pie!  He can say some of the sweetest things.  He seems to be a deep thinker.  Often he is asking questions about life that make you wonder what ever made him ask that!  And like most 5 year olds, he is full of questions!  Right now he is at a point where his personality is changing a lot.  Most recently, he has become a tattle-teller and overly dramatic.  Of course part of that could be from getting over two illnesses back to back.  He loves being around other people and hasn't really met a stranger!  Once he meets you, pretty much be prepared to have him camp in your lap for the rest of the visit!  And he'll talk your ear off.  He enjoys being the "little buddy" in the family and he adores his older sisters!

Ridge is a handful!  He seems to have a more dominant personality. He knows what he wants and he expects you to get if for him--now!  If someone is in his way, be prepared to be shoved aside.  He is a bit more physical than his siblings were at his age.  And when he gets in trouble, he makes his eyes get really wide and he puts on this really big smile.  (Not batting his eyes, but it has the same effect.)  Something tells me he is going to barrel right through life at full speed--he'll think about the consequences to things later.

Reagan--well we are still learning a lot about her.  One thing is for sure--she is a drama queen!  She has been a more temperamental baby than the others were.  She requires more of your undivided attention and isn't all that easily soothed when she gets riled!  I'm sure there are lots of adventures waiting for her.  Being a girl born after 4 brothers in a row, she is going to have to be tough!  But like her siblings, she has the ability to smile and light up a room!

So nine children, all so different.  Each one an individual made by God for a special purpose. 

"How Do You Do It?" Part 3--Homeschooling

For those of you out there that might think I look like I have it all together, let me assure you that I don't.  In fact, I think it is pretty funny that it looks like I do!  When I have conversations with other moms they seem to find some relief to hear that I struggle with the same things they do.  Ha!  I remember being one of them!  I thought my kids were the only ones driving me crazy over bedtime, or getting their chores done.  It was such a relief to hear that my friends struggled in the same ways!  Why does the grass always look greener somewhere else?  Still, I often need to hear from other moms that they struggle in the same ways I do.  A quick phone call to a friend to vent a little usually earns a "Yep!  Mine do that too!"  It is an added plus when a mom with older children says "Oh, I remember those days!  My son did the same, exact thing!" And for me to be able to see how her child turned out--very normal.  What an encouragement!  So that is what I hope this post will be for some of you--an encouragement.  I am not some superhuman, perfect mom that has all of her ducks in a row.  Some of you know this already!  But you don't have to be that to homeschool.  I often hear that I must have a lot of patience to homeschool my children. (Excuse me while I take a break and laugh til it hurts!)  Sometimes I think God has me on this journey to develop patience in me....and I'm failing my grade!  There was a time when Rick thought we shouldn't have more than one or two children because neither one of us is known for our patience.  Unfortunately, we've passed some of these faults on to the next generation.  It really is true that kids learn by what they see.

I think I've already touched on why we homeschool.  We feel led by God to do so.  Does that mean I never doubt this path?  Or that I want to give up?  No!  It is a common occurence (at least twice a year) that I tell Rick I can't do it anymore!  LOL  He actually looks bored now when I say it.  Realize that we've been doing this for 13 years now.  He's heard it enough now and knows that I just need some support and calming words and (hopefully) things will look better tomorrow.  It is a little easier now that we have our first getting ready to graduate.  I can see that, yes, we raised a very smart, capable young lady who is going to be a wonderful person contributing to society.  She does know how to read and write and is looking forward to furthering her education.  So when her younger siblings seem to "shut down" during their lessons and block out whatever I say, refusing to learn something, I can remember back to when she did the same thing, and know that all will be okay.

So what does a typical school day look like now?  Well, very different than it did several years ago.  These days we get up a little later, after all, teenagers need more sleep!  We try to eat breakfast no later than 8 a.m. and I like to have them start school by 8:30.  Some days that just doesn't happen, but then Rule # 1 in homeschooling is to be flexible.  Since we have a baby right now who needs to be fed quite frequently and first thing in the morning, I expect the children to start on things they can do on their own without me.  In math that might be the backside of their assignment where it is a review, or in spelling it might be writing sentences with their words.  Some of them start off with devotions, which they do on their own also.  I sit at the dining table with the younger ones.  Right now that would be the 7 year old and 9 year old.  I am doing some kindergarten with the 5 year old, though if he was in public school he would have missed the cutoff and would not have been able to attend kindergarten yet.  So his school is much more relaxed and we don't always do it everyday.  It used to be that I would go over their lessons and then let them go to a desk to work on some of it on their own.  Umm....yeah...that doesn't work for the boys.  I literally can not walk out of the room and expect them to continue working.  They can not sit in the same room and stay on task.  I have come to realize that is an impossible task.  I do have the 14 year old boy in the next room with his 12 year old sister, but I often have to send one out of that room.  Yes, they love each other so much that they want to HELP each other all morning long.  NOT!  They argue constantly and can not be quiet and do their work without me constantly monitoring them.  Yeah, not that different than when I was a public school teacher.  The older girls now do most of their work on their own.  They are the only ones allowed to do their school in their room.  Right now they are doing a geometry class together (a review for Rebecca).  They have a CD that explains the lesson.  I go over some things before they take their test.  At the beginning of the year I give them all of the lesson plans for the year, so they know how much and when to do things.  If they feel like they need help, I will help them study for tests.  This has worked well, for the most part, for the girls.  The boys?  Well, let's just say they may not ever get that privilege.  I check their work and if they did not do well on a test or section, they have to redo it.  If there is something I do not know (which, yes, this does happen in subjects like math and physics!) then I send them to someone who can help them....an uncle who is a math teacher, or a church youth advisor who is a chemistry teacher.

Our older two have taken some classes outside the home.  Both have taken math classes taught by their uncle (Algebra II and Advanced Math).  What a blessing that was!  Rebecca took some classes last year at Virginia Western Community College for dual enrollment.  She took two English classes and two Spanish classes.  For Chemistry (never my strongsuit), they both took a DVD course from A Beka.  So it was like watching a class.  This was very expensive, but will probably be the route we go with this course.  They could have taken a local class with other homeschoolers, but frankly it didn't fit in our schedule and I wasn't sure how I was going to get them there while still teaching the others.  At least with the DVD class we could make it suit our schedule.  It is funny how non-homeschool students would say something to Rebecca like "I bet you make straight A's since your mom teaches you.  She can give you whatever grade she wants."  LOL  Right!  Those who know me know that I'm a bit on the legalistic side in nature.  You get what you earn!  And if you earn a bad grade, then you didn't "get" it and you will be doing it until you do "get" it!

As far as curriculum goes, we have changed some over the years.  Some of the changes were because the curriculum didn't work for everyone, and sometimes it was because the teacher got really bored with the same thing year after year!  For the most part though, we use A Beka, Saxon, and Apologia.  My older girls did Saxon math all the way through.  Then I switched the younger ones to A Beka, and for Richard we started Teaching Textbooks (which is a CD program) for pre-algebra.  Rick would love for me to be one of those homeschool moms who uses the library for a lot of subjects and makes her own curriculum.  I laughed when he mentioned that!  I don't have time!  No, for me, I will be buying all the books with the answer keys (except for maybe 1st and 2nd grades because I do remember 2+2 and can still do it pretty quickly).  So this can get rather expensive.  We reuse as much as we can.  That too, has changed some over the years though.  I do buy a few things and let them write on them.  They do write in Grammar books and on Grammar tests.  But for subjects like History and Science, they have to do their test on another sheet of paper and I use the test booklet again for the next child.  I do not copy it, because of the copyright law, but instead have them write the answers on another sheet of paper. Now that the younger ones are doing A Beka math, we just buy those workbooks every year.

Back to how our day looks.  We start after breakfast.  The younger ones are at the table with me, the 14 year old and the 12 year old in the next room, the 16 and 17 year olds upstairs, and the preschoolers in the room with me.  The preschoolers will watch tv, turned on low, or play with their toys.  Sometimes they come to the table to work with some manipulatives or color.  Occasionally the 5 year old will play up in his room.  The baby is usually in my lap or sleeping nearby.  I may call an older teenager to come downstairs and supervise while I run up to take my shower.  Most of their work is done by lunchtime.  There are days where they drag their feet and goof off.  So it isn't unheard of to have one still doing school at 5 o'clock.  But for the most part, no homework.  If they need extra practice with something, then we schedule an extra day.  Studying spelling words does take place in the evening some though.  This is subject to change.  At the end of the year, I usually try to finish all books.  I feel like we've paid money for them and the work is there for a reason, so we need to finish it.  Oh, and there are no snow days!  LOL  They can play out in the snow, but their schoolwork is waiting for them when they come in!

If you were to come to our house during the school hours, I will warn you that you will hear things like this--"Stop aggravating him!"  "Why are you up AGAIN??"  "Sit DOWN!"  "Did you REALLY finish your math?  Well, let me see it?  Ahhhh, yes, see this one and this one and this one aren't done."  "You can't possibly need to go to the bathroom again!" "Hello?  HELLO?  Stop staring off into space and listen to me!"  You might also hear "Hey, today I learned who the youngest president was." "Mom, do you remember when the first man walked on the moon?"  "No, I'm not that old!"  And you would hear one of my favorite sounds....a little one learning to read on their own!  Wouldn't trade that for the world!

We do homeschool under the law.  We do not claim religious exemption (though we thought about going that route).  So because we homeschool under the law, we have to do the standardized testing like the schools do.  We do not have to do SOL's though.  Because I have a 4 year degree, I can administer the Iowa tests to my own children.  Because that is the best thing for our schedule and the least disruptive to the kids, we do it at home.  This year, however, I'm looking at doing a different test.  The Iowa is over $40 a test, so  x 5= over $200 just to test them  (Rebecca is a senior and will not need to take it this year). If I did not HAVE to test them, I probably would only do it every other year.  After they are tested, we send the scores to the local school board.

So, I think I answered several of the questions we get about homeschooling and how we do it.  Recently one of the kids pointed out that I "get" to homeschool for 18 more years!  Yay!  I think I'll be more than ready for my retirement by then!

"How Do You Do It?" part 2--Finances

This probably won't be nearly the amount of information some people might like, but my husband would not approve of me getting too specific about our money here on this type of forum.  So this will be general type stuff.

I've had people ask me how we afford all the children we have.  Well, once again I have to say "God provides!"  If He gives us children, then He will provide for them.  Now, that does not mean we get to sit on our behinds and not do any work.  It just means that if we are trusting Him, he is going to take care of us.  Will it be in the style that we'd like? Maybe not.  Does it mean that our "pride" might never suffer?  Maybe not.  But He WILL take care of us.  I know some people decide not to have more children because they want to raise the ones they have with certain "things".  That's their decision.  We have just chosen to look at it a different way.  Yes, it is nice to have things...like fancy clothes that haven't been owned by anyone else, all the new technology toys, a new house in a really nice neighborhood, a nice car, a vacation every year, etc.  I really could go on and on.  But instead of thinking of it that way, we think of the wonderful people that can come into our lives.  I'd much rather have a child enter our family than any of the aforementioned things.  A child that will bless our lives and the lives of countless other people.  A child that may one day invent a cure for cancer or be the parent of the person who does.  There is so much promise in a child...in a person.  But those things....they are just THINGS.  They may be fun for a time but they won't last.  But oh, what a difference a person can make!

So how do we do it?  Well the first thing was we trust God.  But usually when people ask they want a different kind of answer.  So I'll attempt to give the kind of answer they are talking about.  I have a husband who works very hard.  But even so, we have not been very smart with the money we have earned over the years.  As if we didn't already know that, Dave Ramsey made sure we knew it in the first class of Financial Peace ( a study we did at our church).  He tells you how you could be a millionaire if you'd started saving money when you were fresh out of school.  Did we do that?  No!  We made a series of bad financial decisions.  But we are trying to do better now.  We are trying to be better stewards with what God has blessed us with. 

We do not buy a new car/van every few years.  We pretty much buy one and run it until it won't run anymore!  We do not take vacations every year.  In fact, when Rick can get away from work, a vacation usually involves visiting family members that live out of state.  We are lucky when we can get in a trip to the beach every couple of years.  No, we won't be going on a cruise or going overseas.  But you won't hear any complaints here.  Right now my dream vacation would be going to somewhere like Disney World with all the kids.  Still that is not practical for us, so I'll settle for Busch Gardens.  I don't want to get away from the kids and go off somewhere exotic....I want to make memories WITH the children. 

I know a few people think our children are a bit deprived because they haven't had certain experiences.  Which I think is pretty laughable!  Our children are sooo blessed!  They have a lot of siblings who love them (and parents that have managed to stay married to each other for 20+ years), but they also have many conveniences that are pure luxury.  Yes, they have ipods, cell phones, and computers.  I feel kind of guilty even saying that.  We probably should have less of those things and have money put away for retirement and college...but then that goes back to financial mistakes.  Now this is the part that will have some gasping aloud...our children will NOT be getting a car for their 16th birthday.  Their parents have not saved a nice little nestegg for their college education, and we will not be going into debt to pay for their college.  They will have to work towards some of that for themselves.  We will help when we can, but it will not be handed to them.  We don't feel that is a "right" that we owe them.  Would we like to provide those things?  Sure!  Would we if we had the money?  Probably, though I'd like to say they'd need to still work for part of them.  But I know me, and I'd love to hand over keys to my kids to a brand, spanking new vehicle.  That is not going to happen though.  So those are some things we don't do. 

Things we do--We do shop at yardsales.  We do accept hand-me-downs from other families.  In fact, my girls love getting boxes of clothes from certain people!  You trendy people know who you are!  Please know what a blessing you have been to our family.  We do look for deals where we can.  For us it is a deal to pay $275 for a pool membership every summer.  That is our entertainment for the whole summer for a family of 11.  We don't often go to the movies, play putt-putt, or any of those things that could easily cost us $100 an outing.  We look for family rates.  Several years we bought a family membership to the zoo and the Science museum because that was cheaper than all of us going once!  We would get to go for a whole year cheaper than those tickets for one day!  We also buy things gender neutral when we can, so that it can be passed down to siblings.  We mark things with initials instead of names for the same reason.  (All our kids have the same initials).  When ordering out at fast food places, we usually just get it to go so we can avoid buying drinks (saves a bunch of money!).  We do not eat out at fancy restaurants as a whole family.  Instead we may take children out for special occasions individually.  Rick and I do get to eat out ever so often because we get giftcards for birthdays and Christmas.  This is one of our favorite gifts because it is a good excuse for a date night!

We do not buy a lot of big things.  Seriously, I think almost all of the big things like furniture have been given to us.  Just a few years ago we bought a couch and that was a big deal because it was the only piece of furniture we'd picked out together and actually bought.  I was very excited!  Now we'd bought things used before that and had many things handed down from family members and friends.  That same year we bought a new washer and dryer--my favorite appliances in the whole house now!  Because we rarely get to make these kinds of purchases, we don't take them lightly!  Rick and I shopped for over 6 months for the washer and dryer.  Every date night, we'd go to the store and look at them.  We decided which ones we wanted and we kept checking back, waiting for a good deal!  And when it came time for Rick to buy a truck, no kidding he took at least 6 months looking.  The car salesmen got so tired of seeing him and stopped believing that he was ever going to buy something.  I guess not having frivilous money and also making some bad decisions in the past make us very cautious in making big purchases.

As for smaller types of things....weekly expenses like groceries can really mount up for our family.  I have gotten lax about this lately too.  I haven't been using coupons, which I should, and I've reverted back to some old bad habits.  Typically I buy store brand products, but there are a few things that I really like the name brands and will buy them when I can.  A few of those things....I do not like to skimp on toilet paper! Haha!  I like my non-store brand orange juice and chips. I try not to buy the little individually priced snacks.  They kids would love for me to...after all they are so cute!  But they are such a waste!  You are paying for packaging!  Ugh!  So we rarely do that, though I do cave in and buy them every now and then during the summer.  We might take them to the pool as a special treat or to a ballgame.  We try to stay away from concession stands except maybe once or twice during the summer, and usually then they spend their own money at them.  When it is our turn to do snacks for the sports  teams, I almost always bake cookies instead of buying them.

None of these things are biggies though.  We are probably a lot like some of the smaller families out there.  We just have to stretch things a bit farther.  I belong to a MOMYS group online (Mother Of Many Young Siblings) and the ladies on there are an inspiration!  Many larger families than ours survive on a lot less money.  They amaze me with how much less their grocery bill is than ours!  And for those of you who are curious (and I know you are because I'm curious what other people pay), our current grocery bill is around $200 a week.  I KNOW I could do better.  Should do better.  It is also about to go up I believe.  I now have a teenage son who is starting to be the typical teenage boy.  He is hungry all the time!  Guess we need to look into finding a piece of land where we can garden!

Feel free to ask me questions.  I know I've missed several things I'll wish I had covered after I hit the publish button.  But I really need to get to bed.  The kids are all asleep and I think the hot water heater has had time to replenish for my shower.  So I'm gonna sneak off to enjoy a long, hopefully uninterrupted shower at 1:00 a.m. in the morning!  Good night!

"How Do You Do It?" part 1

As the mother of many, I can't tell you how many times I've gotten that question!  Often I don't know how to respond...and does anyone really expect me to?  The real answer is, of course, by the grace of God!  But I think people are really curious about big families and how things get done.  When it is a genuine question, I don't mind answering at all.  I would be curious, too!  And I was!  Yes, I once even asked a woman with many children (in the mall in Greenville, SC) if they were all hers.  LOL  Then, I even said something like "Wow!  You have your hands full!"  I NEVER meant it in a negative way, but with respect.  Little did I know then, that she probably heard that every time she went out with her children and it didn't always sound positive.  Now, I know.

Anyway....I thought I might use my blog to address some of the questions people have about how large families do things.  I don't claim to be an expert....just someone who is living it.  I will say upfront right now that many will have problems with the way I do things.  That's okay, I probably have problems with the way they do things too.  One of the keys to running a large household is to delegate.  My older children have to help around the house.  I rely on my two older girls a lot.  They really do lighten my load on a daily basis.  I do not want to overwhelm them with chores, but at the same time they are in training to be moms and wives one day.  My sons are in training to be dads and husbands.  Hopefuly when they become those one day, they will be prepared and know the responsibilities that go along with the positions.  I am definitely not raising pampered, spoiled individuals who expect the world to cater to their needs.  At least I hope not!  I want my children to be responsible, God-fearing, God-loving, kind people with a good work ethic.  Some days I fail in that instruction, and other days they blow me away with the people they are becoming, despite my mistakes and failings as a parent and an example.

The first thing I was going to talk about was cloth diapering.  Mainly because I'm having a cloth diaper party soon and that is on my mind!  Many people have expressed amazement at me having time to cloth diaper, so I thought I would devote a few minutes to tell you how easy it is!  I first became interested in cloth diapering when I was pregnant with Riley, 8 years ago.  I bought some Kissaluvs diapers and some FuzziBunz.  When Riley was born I jumped right in.  I was only planning to use the cloth diapers part time, mostly while we were at home during the day.  Things went well for a while, but then I started noticing a strong smell when Riley would wet the diaper.  Ammonia!  I also didn't have a great washing machine at the time, nor had I researched a lot about diapers.  I gave up pretty quickly.  Then when Reece was born I again used them off and on for a couple of months.  Same issues.  When I had Ridge, I had a postpartum hemorrhage and felt awful for quite a while.  I didn't want to add extra laundry plus I had some friends give us almost 3 months worth of diapers they could not use because their daughter was allergic to them.  This time around, I did a lot of research online. I learned that the reason for the smells I was having was partly due to hard water and partly due to the wrong detergent.  So this time I changed how I washed diapers and haven't had the same problems.  Of course, it helps that we have a new washing machine that was actually made during this century!

I invested in a few different kinds of diapers.  I kept the Fuzzi Bunz that I'd used before and added to that.  I bought some Bum Genius 3.0 AIO's and have loved them!  It is just like changing a disposable diaper!  They come in really pretty colors too, as do the Fuzzi Bunz.  I've also added a couple of Happy Heinys  (not my favorite though because they tend to leak occasionally), BlueBerrys, and Ragababes.  There are so many choices today and I have to admit that I'm addicted.  My kids will tell you that I'm often online looking up different kinds of diapers and looking for sales.  I've purchased some that are very expensive diapers but I've gotten them on clearance or as seconds.  Still excellent quality! I'll list my recommendations at the end!

My wash routine is very different from what I did before.  I now have an LG frontloading washing machine.  I wash diapers on a Sanitary cycle with a prewash, extra rinse, and water plus (where it adds extra water).  It takes a long time for them to wash, but that is just how it is with these new water efficient machines.  I've been amazed at how clean the diapers come out.  I only have one or two that have stains and they are very, very, light ones.  Since I am exlusively breastfeeding, so far there is no dunking diapers in the toilet.  I just throw them in the washing machine.  For later I do have a diaper sprayer that is attached to the back of the toilet.  It is like a shower head.  When Reagan is on solids, I will just spray off her diapers in the toilet and then wash.  Much easier than in the old days!  I was spraying them off at the beginning but realized that I didn't need to.  I was washing diapers every other day.  Lately, I've been trying to stretch it out one extra day when I can.  But I really don't mind doing the extra couple of loads of laundry.  I feel like this is so much better for Reagan than the chemical-filled disposables.  And I will admit, they are A LOT cuter!  I enjoy cloth diapering.  Oh, I use Lulu's detergent for hard water.  I have some Rockin Green that I'm going to try next.

So, it really isn't that much more work.  My washer does most of it.  I do look forward to warmer weather when I can hang the diapers outside to dry.  That might add a little more work, but, hey, I need the sun and fresh air!  The rest of the family endulges my new love for cloth!  I do almost all of the diaper changes at this point.  Rebecca, Rachel, and Rick have all changed a few diapers though, and I haven't heard any complaints.  I will soon be away from Reagan as I have two doula births coming up in the spring.  We'll see how they do when I'm not at home.

My recommendations for cloth diapers:  For newborns I REALLY liked the Bum Genius AIO xsmall.  They have discontinued the bigger sizes but will still be making the xsmalls.  They say they fit up to 12 lbs., but my daughter could only wear them until she was almost 11 lbs.  Still I liked how well they fit and were perfect when she was born at 8 lbs. 1 oz.  She wore them for almost 3 months.  I also like Fuzzi Bunz xsmall for newborns.  Next, I am currently using size small in Fuzzi Bunz and Bum Genius.  Reagan is just now getting into the one-size diapers where you can adjust them down for a small baby or make them bigger for an older baby.  I still prefer the different sizes but I think as she grows I'll like the One Sizes better.  I've recently bought some Ragababes and I really like these too.  They are gorgeous and very absorbant!  Only problem is that they are expensive.  I used Christmas money for Reagan to buy hers, but no way could I afford a whole stash of them.  Still, I love the ones she has.  I am holding onto my diapers for a while....you never know if God will bless you with another little one.  But, when I KNOW I'm done, I can sell my diapers.  Yes, people will buy used diapers!  So I will be able to regain some of the money spent.

Blessings!
Cindy

This may be a long series.  I plan to cover homeschooling, chores, finances, and health.  What are your questions for a mom of many???

Picture Day!

Today was Picture Day!  Yes, it was met with many groans!  Then there was the scramble to find matching outfits (no, you don't have to do it that way--but I like how it pulls the picture together).  Then out the door at 9:20 a.m.  We got to the mall a little early so the kids got to play in the little play area.  <shudder>  Sorry!  All I could think about was all the germs on those things and how the stomach flu is running rampant in our area right now.  But what can you do?  Thank heavens for hand sanitizer!

The photographer was nice and pretty patient.  Unfortunately, it took a long time to take the pictures and then for me to decide.  So there were other people waiting and some didn't handle that so well.  One lady got pretty hot!  I felt so bad.  I understand the not wanting to wait.  I hate waiting, especially when I have a baby that is going to need to eat.  But this lady did not handle it well at all.  On a happier note, while I did spend more money than I'd like to have, it really wasn't any more than what I spent on Olan Mills portraits years and years ago!  And this time I got a CD with permission to make as many copies as I'd like!  And Rick didn't even give me that "Oh, no you didn't" look.  So...it was a pretty good day today!  The mall was even somewhat deserted and we did not get any weird looks--at least none that I was aware of.

Now I am sitting here and I keep looking at the pictures!  Sitting here in a COLD house!  Had to turn the thermostat down after that last huge power bill.  Anyone else suffering from shock after their power bill?

Our Family Verse

"Sons are a heritage from the Lord,
children a reward from him.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are sons born in one's youth.
Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their
enemies in the gate.

Psalms 127:3-5

This is where we get the term quiverfull. Those of you who have seen our license plate may have already asked us about what that means. (And no our plate does NOT say Overful!) It means that we consider our children a blessing from God and we will not be turning down any that He wants to send our way. Did we always feel that way? No, we didn't. Well, we always felt our children were blessings, but there was a time when we considered it our decision as to when and if we would have anymore.

Sometime after the birth of our fourth child, I felt like God was telling me that I needed to be open to having more children. Originally we thought we would just have four children. Rick was the oldest of four, I was the youngest of four.......that seemed like a good number. I'd always been fascinated by large families and when I was little I had planned on having a lot of children. But then most little girls do! Everyone in my family can tell you the story about how when I was about 3 or 4, they would hear me on Saturday morning bright and early, rocking in my little red rocking chair and chanting "I wish I was a mama!" Boy, did God grant that wish! And then some!

Okay, so God had my attention! More children? Sure, I'd love to do that. But Rick....well let's just say he had some reservations. I talked to him about it, but he was definitely not sold on the idea. He had the typical worries that I would dare say most men have....How can I provide for a large family? Raising children can be expensive. And well, we weren't exactly the most patient parents. Turning over your family size to God? Letting Him bless you with as many children as He saw fit? But that could mean a child every year! Surely that isn't what He wants us to do. He wants us to be responsible with our fertility. Right? Wasn't it being irresponsible to keep having children? That is certainly what the world would have us to believe. So, anyway, Rick was not sold on the idea at first. I was determined not to nag him about it. I just prayed and told God that if that is what He wanted for us, then it was going to be up to him to change Rick's mind. I continued to read about other quiverful families and I continued to pray about it. Occasionally it would still come up in conversations. Then something happened. I noticed Rick now was defending the quiverful mindset! God HAD changed his mind. So....we threw out the birth control. I won't say it wasn't scary at times. I was still a bit apprehensive about the thought of having a baby every year. I'm one of those women who does not stop having periods while nursing a baby. Doctors had told me before that I could very well be one of those women who gets pregnant even though I nurse on demand for the first year. But if God truly was telling us to do this, then it would be okay. "We" had planned our first four children and liked that they were all about 2 years apart.

Things didn't go exactly as I'd planned (notice that I still had a plan here). We were perfectly content to accept another baby if God sent us one, but I wasn't prepared for what happened instead. I did get pregnant (right on schedule) but when I went into the doctor around 9 weeks, he did not see/hear a heartbeat. He wasn't that concerned. He just said come back in 2 weeks and we'll do another ultrasound. I didn't make it in for that next appt. because I started miscarrying before that. That was one of the hardest times in my life. I'd always been worried about losing a baby. You could say it was a fear of mine. But more than that....what did this mean? We had just turned our fertility over to God. We'd said we would accept any children he wanted to give us. I would have been okay if we had not had any more. I mean I wanted more now, but if we didn't have any more then I'd KNOW that was God's plan. But this? What was this? Getting pregnant only to lose the baby? Of course, I had one person tell me that maybe this was God's way of saying to stop having children. I KNEW that wasn't it though. I will admit that I was angry. I went through the whole grieving process, but boy I dwelled on that anger for quite a while. It wasn't long before I got pregnant again and we had our 5th child. After him, we had another early miscarriage. Again, I was down in a pit. God was there for me though. I did not go through the anger this time, but I did not like the pattern that I thought I was seeing form. Miscarriages took a lot out of me physically, but nothing compared to what they did to me emotionally. I did not want to experience that pain over and over again. But we still heard God saying to trust him. And we did (and do)! Those of you who know us well, know that we have gone on to have 4 more children. We do not second guess our decision to turn our fertility over to God. It was something that we heard very clearly from Him. I have found that sometimes others want to argue with us about that decision and say that God would not want us to do that--that we heard wrong and we are twisting scriptures. We do not preach the quiverful lifestyle to others. It isn't our place. Just as I could not have changed my own husband's mind, it is not my place to change yours. But I do ask you to listen if you are feeling led in this direction. Really listen to what He is saying to you. No, he isn't going to require it of you. You are given a choice. But if He is saying that he wants to bless you with more children, do you really want to say "No, thank you?"

And as for those worries about being able to provide for a large family....well ask us some time! We'll tell you how richly God has blessed our lives! No, we are not rich in the material ways of this world, but then again, we aren't lacking either. There have been hard times and scary times, but those were also the times when God showed us who He is! When times were leaner, with the birth of every child there came a new contract for Rick's business. Most of the time, these contracts fell in his lap! What I mean by that was that it was not through Rick's own doing that he got the jobs. They would come from calls out of the blue. No, they were not coincidences. The timing was just too perfect. That was God's way of reminding Rick that he was not the one providing for his family. God was providing for HIS family and He will continue to do so.

Welcome to my first attempt at blogging!

My daughter, Rachel, designed and got this blog started for me. I am hoping I have time to post some things. This may be one more thing that I do when I should be doing other things though! Like playing around on Facebook when I should be gathering information for my taxes. Ugh! Which sounds more appealing to you?

Well, this was definitely not a typical weekend! But then again, is there even such a thing as typical anymore? Rick was doing extra work for the business and the three oldest girls spent most of the weekend with their grandparents. Richard actually went to work with his dad. So I was here at home with the five youngest children. I had visions of doing some house cleaning and maybe even taking my Willow Tree Nativity set off the mantle and packing it away. Reagan had other ideas though. She just wanted me to sit and nurse her all morning. Can I count actually getting a shower and washing my hair as an accomplishment? Well, I will because many times that doesn't happen. So I got my shower and straightened up a tiny bit. When Rick got home, Reagan and I went out to do some birthday shopping for Rachel and Ruth.

While nursing Reagan for most of the morning, I got to just sit back and watch the boys interact. I mean really watch them. So much of our time lately is me correctly them, rather impatiently, I might add. But today there was no pressure to do anything (except nurse) and the house was a bit calmer, so I spent more time observing them and just listening. Well, if you have ever been around a 3 year old, 5 year old, and 7 year old, you know that you can't just listen. You have to answer lots of questions. Today I was able to answer them while they had my full attention, with no other distractions. I was struck by how funny they are. You sometimes forget that when you get caught up in trying to do school, laundry, meals, and emails! When listening to them, I find myself chuckling at their vocabulary (where did they get that?) and their mannerisms. It was a rough week with lots of sibling rivalry (translated--screaming) in our house. I am very glad that the week ended with me being able to step back and see some of the good things. I DO like being a mommy to all nine of these very different children!