"How Do You Do It?" part 2--Finances

This probably won't be nearly the amount of information some people might like, but my husband would not approve of me getting too specific about our money here on this type of forum.  So this will be general type stuff.

I've had people ask me how we afford all the children we have.  Well, once again I have to say "God provides!"  If He gives us children, then He will provide for them.  Now, that does not mean we get to sit on our behinds and not do any work.  It just means that if we are trusting Him, he is going to take care of us.  Will it be in the style that we'd like? Maybe not.  Does it mean that our "pride" might never suffer?  Maybe not.  But He WILL take care of us.  I know some people decide not to have more children because they want to raise the ones they have with certain "things".  That's their decision.  We have just chosen to look at it a different way.  Yes, it is nice to have things...like fancy clothes that haven't been owned by anyone else, all the new technology toys, a new house in a really nice neighborhood, a nice car, a vacation every year, etc.  I really could go on and on.  But instead of thinking of it that way, we think of the wonderful people that can come into our lives.  I'd much rather have a child enter our family than any of the aforementioned things.  A child that will bless our lives and the lives of countless other people.  A child that may one day invent a cure for cancer or be the parent of the person who does.  There is so much promise in a child...in a person.  But those things....they are just THINGS.  They may be fun for a time but they won't last.  But oh, what a difference a person can make!

So how do we do it?  Well the first thing was we trust God.  But usually when people ask they want a different kind of answer.  So I'll attempt to give the kind of answer they are talking about.  I have a husband who works very hard.  But even so, we have not been very smart with the money we have earned over the years.  As if we didn't already know that, Dave Ramsey made sure we knew it in the first class of Financial Peace ( a study we did at our church).  He tells you how you could be a millionaire if you'd started saving money when you were fresh out of school.  Did we do that?  No!  We made a series of bad financial decisions.  But we are trying to do better now.  We are trying to be better stewards with what God has blessed us with. 

We do not buy a new car/van every few years.  We pretty much buy one and run it until it won't run anymore!  We do not take vacations every year.  In fact, when Rick can get away from work, a vacation usually involves visiting family members that live out of state.  We are lucky when we can get in a trip to the beach every couple of years.  No, we won't be going on a cruise or going overseas.  But you won't hear any complaints here.  Right now my dream vacation would be going to somewhere like Disney World with all the kids.  Still that is not practical for us, so I'll settle for Busch Gardens.  I don't want to get away from the kids and go off somewhere exotic....I want to make memories WITH the children. 

I know a few people think our children are a bit deprived because they haven't had certain experiences.  Which I think is pretty laughable!  Our children are sooo blessed!  They have a lot of siblings who love them (and parents that have managed to stay married to each other for 20+ years), but they also have many conveniences that are pure luxury.  Yes, they have ipods, cell phones, and computers.  I feel kind of guilty even saying that.  We probably should have less of those things and have money put away for retirement and college...but then that goes back to financial mistakes.  Now this is the part that will have some gasping aloud...our children will NOT be getting a car for their 16th birthday.  Their parents have not saved a nice little nestegg for their college education, and we will not be going into debt to pay for their college.  They will have to work towards some of that for themselves.  We will help when we can, but it will not be handed to them.  We don't feel that is a "right" that we owe them.  Would we like to provide those things?  Sure!  Would we if we had the money?  Probably, though I'd like to say they'd need to still work for part of them.  But I know me, and I'd love to hand over keys to my kids to a brand, spanking new vehicle.  That is not going to happen though.  So those are some things we don't do. 

Things we do--We do shop at yardsales.  We do accept hand-me-downs from other families.  In fact, my girls love getting boxes of clothes from certain people!  You trendy people know who you are!  Please know what a blessing you have been to our family.  We do look for deals where we can.  For us it is a deal to pay $275 for a pool membership every summer.  That is our entertainment for the whole summer for a family of 11.  We don't often go to the movies, play putt-putt, or any of those things that could easily cost us $100 an outing.  We look for family rates.  Several years we bought a family membership to the zoo and the Science museum because that was cheaper than all of us going once!  We would get to go for a whole year cheaper than those tickets for one day!  We also buy things gender neutral when we can, so that it can be passed down to siblings.  We mark things with initials instead of names for the same reason.  (All our kids have the same initials).  When ordering out at fast food places, we usually just get it to go so we can avoid buying drinks (saves a bunch of money!).  We do not eat out at fancy restaurants as a whole family.  Instead we may take children out for special occasions individually.  Rick and I do get to eat out ever so often because we get giftcards for birthdays and Christmas.  This is one of our favorite gifts because it is a good excuse for a date night!

We do not buy a lot of big things.  Seriously, I think almost all of the big things like furniture have been given to us.  Just a few years ago we bought a couch and that was a big deal because it was the only piece of furniture we'd picked out together and actually bought.  I was very excited!  Now we'd bought things used before that and had many things handed down from family members and friends.  That same year we bought a new washer and dryer--my favorite appliances in the whole house now!  Because we rarely get to make these kinds of purchases, we don't take them lightly!  Rick and I shopped for over 6 months for the washer and dryer.  Every date night, we'd go to the store and look at them.  We decided which ones we wanted and we kept checking back, waiting for a good deal!  And when it came time for Rick to buy a truck, no kidding he took at least 6 months looking.  The car salesmen got so tired of seeing him and stopped believing that he was ever going to buy something.  I guess not having frivilous money and also making some bad decisions in the past make us very cautious in making big purchases.

As for smaller types of things....weekly expenses like groceries can really mount up for our family.  I have gotten lax about this lately too.  I haven't been using coupons, which I should, and I've reverted back to some old bad habits.  Typically I buy store brand products, but there are a few things that I really like the name brands and will buy them when I can.  A few of those things....I do not like to skimp on toilet paper! Haha!  I like my non-store brand orange juice and chips. I try not to buy the little individually priced snacks.  They kids would love for me to...after all they are so cute!  But they are such a waste!  You are paying for packaging!  Ugh!  So we rarely do that, though I do cave in and buy them every now and then during the summer.  We might take them to the pool as a special treat or to a ballgame.  We try to stay away from concession stands except maybe once or twice during the summer, and usually then they spend their own money at them.  When it is our turn to do snacks for the sports  teams, I almost always bake cookies instead of buying them.

None of these things are biggies though.  We are probably a lot like some of the smaller families out there.  We just have to stretch things a bit farther.  I belong to a MOMYS group online (Mother Of Many Young Siblings) and the ladies on there are an inspiration!  Many larger families than ours survive on a lot less money.  They amaze me with how much less their grocery bill is than ours!  And for those of you who are curious (and I know you are because I'm curious what other people pay), our current grocery bill is around $200 a week.  I KNOW I could do better.  Should do better.  It is also about to go up I believe.  I now have a teenage son who is starting to be the typical teenage boy.  He is hungry all the time!  Guess we need to look into finding a piece of land where we can garden!

Feel free to ask me questions.  I know I've missed several things I'll wish I had covered after I hit the publish button.  But I really need to get to bed.  The kids are all asleep and I think the hot water heater has had time to replenish for my shower.  So I'm gonna sneak off to enjoy a long, hopefully uninterrupted shower at 1:00 a.m. in the morning!  Good night!